Life Is for the Livers

Lately, I’ve been pondering some of the Big Questions—Why are we here? What comes next? Where, exactly, is “here,” anyway? and the like—as each of us is wont to do from time to time, if I may speak for all of us. I used to find these questions frustrating in the extreme, in large part because I like having answers... but these days, instead of banging my metaphorical head against the symbolic wall, I call to mind something somebody, possibly a girl I know, an actual medical doctor, once told me:

The liver cell doesn’t know anything outside of the liver. (She might have said “kidney cell” and “kidney”; the analogy is unaffected.) The liver cell does not know that there are other organs in the human body. The liver cell knows only that it needs to do its job so that the liver will work properly. But that’s enough for that cell to “know,” because the other organs are made up of cells thinking and doing the same thing, and in that manner the body will be healthy. Maybe God, or whatever you’re looking for, is like a human body—and humanity is like His liver. So just be the best liver cell you can be and everything will work out fine.

Heavy stuff, right? But it just makes sense. Each of us should, in fact, be the best darned liver cell we can be, so that God’s liver will be healthy. And here’s how to do it:

This is my philosophy. It can be yours, too. And perhaps together we can make humanity the most healthy, the most... vital organ in the whole stupid Universe.

Matthew David Brozik wrote this and many other short humor pieces, which have been published in print and online by The New Yorker, Adult Swim, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Grin & Tonic, The Big Jewel, and no one.

Read more humor here. Or read some fiction here.